I resolve to be more authentic this year. I've been a soft, feminine being cloaked in [sic]
a wannabee "guy" for too long. What changes this year in me will be welcome. I
won't miss the suits, the deep voice, the uncomfortableness in my skin. I will keep
the writing, the music, I will reaffirm and recommit to my career and be a trans role model
and library role model all-around. I look forward to having a body which matches
how I feel. i hope that is what I get, and confidence with it. Goals tomorrow.
That was ten days before I started HRT.
The following day, January 3, these were some of the goals that I wrote down:
1. Make sure my health is clear (urinary tract [I had just recovered from an infection over the holidays]), then begin HRT. Follow up with specialist regularly.
1. 7 - 8 hours sleep nightly. Some exceptions (eg. radio show followed by work weekend).
2. Cut down on sugar and junk.
3. Bring healthy alternatives to work (start Tuesday [January 4]).
1. Writing: UBC course in freelance article writing.
2. Writing once a day.
3. Work on drafts from Fall '09 [I probably meant Fall '10]
So to review, my 2011 transition goal was met; I began HRT on January 12, when all was clear healthwise. I saw the doctor monthly at first and then every two months. After steady increases in dosage throughout the spring, my hormone intake was adjusted downwards twice, once during the summer and again during the autumn. But my body and mind have responded very well. The physical developments had me looking forward to each new change like a child waiting to open their presents on Christmas morning. Emotionally, I felt more balanced than I ever have (one glance at my ongoing autobiographical posts should make that very clear).
I'm still working on the sleep issue, but I did change my radio time slot, at the end of January, to alternate Sunday afternoons and have felt much more at peace for doing so. As for my sweet tooth ... well, I guess that's a carry over from last year.
I took not one, but two freelance article writing course, one during the winter and one in late spring, and thoroughly enjoyed them; now I just have to commit to sending some of those queries in to publications. I also write here and there, not daily. My drafts are still waiting for my assistance.
So on to this year's goals:
1. Find a comfortable voise pitch/level and then work on making it my regular voice.
2. Come out to my family.
3. Continue with HRT and hair removal.
4. Apply to Vital Statistics for my name change.
5. Find a new psychiatrist/clinical psychologist.
6. Buy hair styling appliances (dryer with diffuser, flat iron, styling iron).
7. Buy woman's winter coat and rain coat.
8. Buy new purses and a laptop carrier.
9. Present myself as a woman at work (prepare for this).
1. Get at least 8 hours of sleep per night; get up early enough in the morning.
2. Take the nonfiction book writing course at UBC.
3. Continue to research/write my two books.
4. Close my radio program Facebook group and start a blog for it instead.
Well, I'm looking forward to seeing where I will be with these a year from today.