Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Friends marry, become parents, married friends separate or divorce. Others change careers or go back to school. Fellow community gardeners move away, even out of the country. I've hosted a local radio program (under my male name up until now) for nearly five years, and I am grateful for the opportunity to have done so; but, at any point, a change in management, a change in managerial ideology, and the show may be one of many to become permanently part of the station's history. I do my shows often like I learned to breathe in the years after my mother's death, as if each breath might be my last. Fortunately, I still breathe, and live, to this day.
Of course, I too, am in flux, my body morphing into a softer, more feminine shape. Some react positively to my changing physical reality, others coldly, still others oscillate daily in their reactions.
In all of this flux, I need to ground myself in meditation practice again. To experience flux is one thing; to be in flux requires real ground.