Last year, the season ended on the eve of my trip back home for my parent and step-parent's wedding and me struggling with living a double life (''you only live twice, or so it seems ... "). This year, living 24/7, I am much more integrated, and ... "Both Sides Now" seems just as suitable. Funny how duality always seems to be a theme here.
But, this moment, just like those of my favourite MM characters, is multi-layered. Much has happened since last year. I may be fully out, but I am also at a crossroads in my life's work, both in my career and outside of it. I once entered the library profession with a strong drive to turn people on to democracy, not just voting every four or five years, but to the daily experience of functioning together, growing together and learning about each other that makes a free and open society and culture a concrete reality, not just rhetoric. I have long since become aware of the negative, even malevolent, forces inside and outside of my field and only feel even more deeply called to help rebuild a sense of public good in the twenty-first century.
In a way, I am a subversive in my profession, seeing its radical political and cultural possibilities. Also, on an individual level, I am a grown-up now, ready take a leadership position with renewed pride in my work. There is much work to do and precious little time to do it.
Which is why the new directions for some of the MM characters were particularly inspiring.
I have seen myself on this side of coming out gender-wise; now it is time to see the other side of my mission here in this world.